In case you're losing count:
My kids are:
H - The oldest
AS - Singaporean friends think his name starts with S. American friends know him as A.
O - Formerly the youngest
AB - Newest Daughter
X - Newest Son
November 19, 2012
Well, we made it to China safely. The only incident was that H woke up as the plane was landing. After we checked into the hotel, she discovered that she'd left her Kindle in the seat pocket of the last plane!!!
The girl at the front desk helped us track it down. She deserves a medal. My Chinese skills allow me to say "small computer" "book" or "looking for", but I could have never ever negociated all the phone calls she made.
H and I took a taxi back to the airport and got it back. Whew!
We are getting ready to go to breakfast now. We meet the guide at 8:30, and she will take us to the govt. office where we'll meet X. Erin and I both feel LESS nervous now than we did before we left Singapore. I think a lot of the stress was making the connection (not on same ticket as Singapore flight), and getting here with everything.
November 19, 2012
Well, we have met X and I think I'm in love - again! The first five minutes he was very stand-offish. The next ten minutes he just wanted out of the room and back to his nanny from the orphange. Lots of tears! :-( It was so hard on him, of course, like we all knew it would be. But the orphanage director is a man, and he came over and helped calm X down some. We were all a little nervous about touching and hugging too quickly. But he let Erin hold him, and let me carry him out and down the elevator. He is a solid built little guy! The 3t pants I bought him in Singapore fit him, but he weighs a lot more than any of my skinny-minnies did at almost 4!!
We got some smiles out of him before we'd even left the room. He liked the Build a Bear puppy dog that we brought him. Well, he liked joining his two new big brothers in pretending to wrestle the puppy, and do other semi-violent boy type things to a perfectly cute stuffed animal.
We stopped in the hotel lobby to go over some paperwork with our guide. Erin spoke with the guide while X tried to wrestle with me. He's going to be a great fan of "knock Daddy over". He'll have to learn that Mommy isn't so much of a wrestle fan. But he enjoyed the game and me tickling him a little when he got too rough. I also let him take some pictures with my camera. That was the first time we noticed that he wanted to hold the camera very close to his face to see the screen. That is the only indication of a vision problem so far. He was looking at books with me though, and didn't do that, so maybe the glare on the screen was bothering him. But right now, his vision is certainly not slowing him down in the least! Yea!!
Once back in the hotel room, O went straight for his Nintendo. X wanted in on that action, so I got my ipad out and we played pop the bubbles and drawing, and on the piano keyboard. I may be prejudiced already, but I think he's a pretty sharp kid. He has worked at solving some problems like how to get his Jacob's ladder toy to stay on his dump truck. That took a while, but he worked out that if you raise the bed of the truck and cram the blocks between the bed and the cab, it will stay pretty well. It's also fun to crash the truck, of course.
His foster family sent letters with him (in English!). They are so sweet. I'm grateful to them for doing that. There are also lots more pictures - including from when he was 1 and 2 years old. He already had a little backpack, and he was really clinging to his bag of snacks. He has potato chips, shrimp crackers, and 'potato sticks'. In his pockets he had a big handful of sunflower seeds. They kept dropping out, and I said he was leaving a breadcrumb trail. He's also come up with some candy from some pocket or other.
We are communicating in broken Chinese and gestures. I tried to tell him that it was time to go eat lunch, and I think he said, 'I don't want to eat'. (He was busy coloring at the time.) Bless his heart, he knows I can speak a little Chinese, but he keeps using words that were not in Chapters 1 - 24!! I'm not sure he'd ever been in a fancy restaurant before. He wanted to run the dump truck on the fine china, and stand the chopsticks up in the drinking glass. (Standing chopsticks upright is taboo because it looks like incense for the dead.) I could tell that he was watching H and brothers, and he tried to imitate them - mostly. He kept wiping brown sauce on his yellow shirt sleeve. Oops! H and I showed him how to use the napkin. The oddest thing was that he isn't very good with chopsticks! I don't know what he's been using, but I think chopsticks are at least kinda new. He was trying the two hand approach at first! Eventually he got it to where he would pick up the food with the chopsticks and use his left hand as back up. He ate beef and cucumber, green beans, eggplant, rice with vegetables with the special black vinegar the area is famous for. I'll need to pick up a bottle of that because he gestured until I poured some on his rice. He ate two helpings of everything.
When he finished, he played with his truck on his chair and then suddenly got the "uh-oh" look on his face. I got him to the potty pretty much on time. After that, I brought him back up to the room and changed his pants. He had on 2 pairs of thick thick sweatpants (it was 40 degrees or so this morning). He wasn't at all happy about not getting to put his boots back on. I don't blame him. They're cool boots.
He also wasn't happy about the whole nap thing! I read him some lullabies from a bilingual book. He sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" with me in Chinese! Awwwww!!!! Then he sang me another song. I told him I didn't know that one and he'd have to teach it to me. So he sang it again.....slower! Lol! I'm going to record him singing it so I can play it really slow and learn it.
I had to get my Mommy face on and wrestle him into bed. I had AS come in and be an example, and Erin came up from lunch and helped. X realized I wasn't going to let him out of his little bed, but he drew the line at lying down. So I started rubbing his back, and in about 2 minutes he was asleep sitting up! He still refused to let go of the side of the bed. I had to lean over the bed so his head was on my shoulder. Eventually, Erin got his hand between X's hand and the bed, and after a good 5 minutes of snoring, we were able to get him lying down. He's been asleep for about an hour now. When he gets up, we're planning to walk down to the river and back.
Tomorrow we go back to the government office to sign the official paperwork to make him ours. I know there are a lot of challenges ahead, but I think today has gone pretty well so far. He let me feed him, and he will look us in the eyes. He also came and got my attention to show me something. These are all good signs.
November 23, 2012
Well, I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. We had a pretty relaxing day. We went down the street to the bookstore after breakfast. The kids all found something (
For lunch on Thanksgiving, we walked down the street to a restaurant our guide recommended. It was, uh, interesting. No one there spoke English. We did o.k. with my 1st grade level Chinese until the waitress came back in and asked me SOMETHING. Still don't have a clue. I told her, "I'm sorry, I don't understand the question." She eventually gave up and left. I don't know if our order changed after that or not. Oh well. The food was pretty good, and X immediately recognized the local specialty and knew what kind of sauce he wanted on his noodles. It seems like a simple recipe, so I'll have to find it online.
After lunch, our guide picked us up and took us to a local park. We walked around and came to the amusement park area. It's so cold here, I can't believe there's anyone who wants to ride amusement park rides, but a few were going. I told the kids they could ride something if it stayed on the ground. I'm not a big believer in China's safety standards. So we found some bumper cars and Erin and the big kids rode them. X got really excited watching them, so we decided he could do it too. He and I went in one car. The cars had small guns for the passenger to operate, but he was a bit overwhelmed by all the action. He only remembered to shoot the other cars when I reminded him. This, in spite of the fact that he's been playing with AS's new toy guns and knows exactly what to do with them.
After that, we walked on around. We saw some older men playing with Chinese Yo-Yo's. They were pretty talented. We watched them toss and catch them for a while.
http://www.chineseyoyo.org
We might have stayed longer, but the wind chill was in the 30's. brrr.
We were all happy to stay indoors after that. Since we had a big lunch, we only snacked for supper. AS ended up waking us up at 3:30 a.m. with stomach problems. I don't know what it was, but he must've eaten something that didn't agree with him. He stayed home from this morning's sightseeing. O.'s sore throat is much worse today. He also stayed home. He's pretty miserable, and we're trying to keep him eating and drinking so it doesn't get worse. My throat is hurting too, I'm drinking tea and taking cough drops right alongside O. I'm hoping I'll still have my voice on Sunday when we fly to Zhengzhou to meet AB.
X still has some congestion. I have no idea if his throat hurts too. He was very concerned this morning about both big brothers. We woke up a little earlier because we had to get breakfast and meet the guide at 8:45. I think he would've slept 'till 9 if we'd let him. H, X, and I went with the guide out to the countryside to see a "temple". It isn't so much of a temple now as a park. It's a large complex with many buildings. Several of the buildings are 900+ years old! There's a tree there that is 3,000 years old! It is being supported by another tree and several poles. There was a pretty little spring there, and some nice ancient Chinese architecture and bridges. X was acting kind of sleepy and clingy. He wouldn't walk at all, so I had to carry him around the entire place.
On the way out we bought some interesting toys for $1 ea. They are small wooden cats with stings attached. When you pinch the string hard and slide your fingers down the string, it sounds like a cat. Well, like a wailing cat. It's hard to say who liked it more - H or X! Back in the van, he fell asleep almost instantly.
H talked me into asking the guide to stop at McDonald's to pick everyone up a cheeseburger. We tried, but apparently much was lost in translation. I pointed to the cheeseburger picture, but ended up with chicken sandwiches for everyone. sigh. No one was too angry, and everyone ate. AS even ate some fries and a nugget or two.
Since X slept all the way back in the van, we were worried about nap time. He probably didn't need one now, but if we skipped it, he'd be awful by supper time. (At least if he's like the other 3 were!) So we put him to bed a little late. NOT. HAPPY. It took a long time to get him to stop crying long enough to fall asleep. He was asking for something. I still don't know what. Not potty (we did that and when I asked again he said, "no"), not water, not milk, so I don't know. It took 45 minutes to get him asleep - which is double any other time this week. I hope he didn't want something legitimate, and just couldn't communicate it to us.
In a lot of ways, it's like dealing with a non-verbal 2 year old. We play a lot of: "this one?" "that one?" etc. Although he's about to turn 4 in January, he hasn't used a regular cup much. He doesn't recognize written numbers, but he can count up to ten, and sorta up to twenty. Erin and I both think he's pretty clever though.
I forgot to mention that on the way to the temple we stopped at the place where he was found. I took some pictures in case that's something he'd like to know about some day. I wanted to put up a poster with his picture with a note to his Birthmom - just in case she goes by there. But there was no place to post anything. The guide tried to help me find a place, but we struck out. We even asked at the post office. No luck. I have to say however, that the guide was surprised/impressed with the note I'd written in Chinese characters. (Bwa ha ha!) The rest of the family is learning Chinese phrases. Everyone knows "Hai Yo Fei Ji" Which means 'airplane again!' :-) AS, Erin, and I all take turns zooming him around. No one can play it long though, because he's solid and he squirms.
He called Erin "Baba" first the other night. Then last night he called me "Mama". Awwww. I'll always remember that. So he's kinda getting used to us. However, he is very resistant to taking a bath, and so far we haven't pushed it. He lets me change his underwear and help him in the potty. I've also changed his shirt. I've run water in the tub for him to play in, but he does not want to get in. He just reaches over the side and splashes. He likes the water, but doesn't want to take his shirt off. Erin volunteered to let him take a shower with him. We'll see. I think it might have to be a bath. It may just be too cold here, and he'll enjoy the idea more in Singapore after he's good and sweaty. He hasn't been rolling in the dirt or anything, so he's not too dirty.
Well, that's today's update. Tomorrow we're supposed to go to a museum. Sunday we fly to Zhengzhou.
November 24, 2012
This morning we went to the "Provincial Museum" and saw lots of ancient things from this area. They had a wing for jade, porcelain, coins, paintings, etc. We all went even though O. still feels pretty bad. At least his fever is down to almost normal. Hooray! The exertion also left AS sitting down in the hall waiting for us at times. I think he's just weak from the stomach bug. He's eating normally now with no ill effects. X was ho-hum on the museum. We 'rented' (for free) a stroller there and he used it more than half the time. He looked at some of the more vivid things, but there wasn't really anything that a 3 year old would be interested in. The big kids kept him entertained by pushing him around (literally around - in circles) in the stroller while the grownups enjoyed the museum. At one point I was carrying X and we came to some life-sized wax figures. They looked normal to me, but X found them terrifying! He climbed me like a tree and wouldn't let go. I carried him for a while and even after he went back in the stroller he wanted to hold my hand tightly.
We stopped on the way back and got some more throat medicine for everybody. I'm not sure X's throat hurts necessarily, but he does have some sinus issues going on.
Again, the air is so polluted here that he may be used to having sinus issues.
Oh. When we came up to the room from breakfast, the maid was vacuuming our room. X watched suspiciously, and when she went past us he bent down to feel the carpet to try to figure out what she'd done to it, or maybe to see if it was wet. I guess the foster family didn't have carpet, or didn't have that kind of vacuum cleaner. :-) So many new things for him to learn about!
Nap time went much easier today. It took about 5 minutes for him to go to sleep. He has been happy and energetic tonight. At one point he tried to take the toy gun from O.'s hand. I stopped him and he tried to pitch a fit. I started a timer and told him he could have it back in 10 minutes. Of course he didn't want to wait, and I'm not sure he understood. But when the timer ran out and O. gave him back the gun, all was forgiven. By that time he'd gotten interested in some music anyway.
Erin took him, H and AS down for the "Western Buffet" for supper. O. and I decided to order "Stewed Chicken Soup with Chinese Medicine" from room service instead. Not sure what the 'Chinese medicine' is. It looks like julienne carrot strips. Tastes good on a sore throat though.
Our plane leaves for Zhengzhou tomorrow night at 5 something. We'll leave for the airport at 3. So we may have to pay to keep the hotel room long enough for X to get his nap. (I say it's worth it!) Hopefully the airplane won't be too scary.
I'm praying that everything goes as well with AB as it has with X!! I'm starting to get nervous again......
27 November, 2012
We have met AB and she is sooo cute! And..... She is definitely NOT X!!! LOL! They are maybe as opposite as they can be. :-) She is very very quiet and gentle. So easy to love! (She still has traces of red finger nail polish (!) on her thumbnails.) The crying lasted longer this time, and started immediately. She kept saying, "I want to go home!". She didn't want any part of Erin, so I'm guessing she's not used to men. She let me hold her and we took out her new Winnie the Pooh jigsaw puzzle. That didn't exactly make her happy, but she stopped sobbing. She really liked the pink backpack with lace on it. She said, "I will take this back home with me." :-) She finally accepted me holding her. When I tried to set her in between me and Erin for our official photo, she didn't like that. But on the way to the hotel she started to get used to the idea.
She was very very passive yesterday. -Mostly just sitting still and thinking. We came up to the room to drop some things off, she didn't move from where we sat her.
At the restaurant, she also didn't use chopsticks! I guess kids just don't learn that. Hmmm. In fact, she may not be used to feeding herself at all. Her technique was to scoot the food over to the edge of the plate and lean in and pick it up with her mouth. (Granted, she was sitting low in the chair so the edge of the plate was close to mouth level. No booster seats around....) This contributes to my theory that things have been done "to" her and not "with" her. The Chinese generally have a different attitude towards handicapped people. Maybe part of that attitude is that they can't do things for themselves. She will have to learn differently in our house. :-) But for now, we're just getting to know what she can and can't do. She ate o.k. at lunch. We went to a fancy Chinese place. She ate almost 2 bowls of rice and fruit. During lunch she was looking very sleepy. I can only imagine the flood of emotions that kept her from sleeping the night before. The orphanage workers all said she was so excited that we were coming. She was supposedly chattering away to them about us and riding on an airplane. We didn't see any of that, but we believe them. It's one thing to want a family and a Mama and a Baba. It's another thing to see them in real life and realize your whole existence is about to change! At lunch there were a few silent tears. :-( We thought she was pretty tired, so we brought her and X both up to the hotel room for a nap. I don't know if she slept very much. I know she was faking it at the beginning and the end. :-D But that's o.k. She got some rest.
After nap time, they discovered the flashlights. There was one in the hotel room, and Erin had an LED one. She was shining the LED one on the wall or ceiling and AS was trying to grab it or stomp on it. He was being intentionally silly for her. She was laughing so hard! That was the first time we'd gotten a smile. She really liked playing with the boys. She still didn't want much to do with Erin, but she sat in my lap while she played. Later we got down in the floor and colored a little bit. We worked her puzzle again. We ended up ordering room service for supper. She had spaghetti, and ate quite a lot. She also ate some fries off of someone else's plate.
At bedtime she went right to sleep. Well, at least it seems so. Maybe I was asleep first....
She hasn't actually said any words to us yet. We read in her profile that it took a long time for her to start talking at the orphanage. So silence is probably part of her coping with what's going on.
Today at lunch we went to a buffet. Erin was holding her and helping with her plate. He asked her in Chinese (!) "yao bu yao?" which is the normal way of asking "do you want this or no?". She wouldn't SAY "Yao" (I want it), but she mouthed the word silently. :-) By lunch time she had decided that maybe Daddy is o.k. He sat in the floor with her and played lots of silly games and made funny faces with her. She was laughing pretty hard. She may even prefer him to me by now. :-) There are several American families here for adoption that are staying in our hotel. One of the other Moms (who has adopted here 4 times) was showing her mother AB and Erin playing today and said, "See, I told you that 24 hours makes such a huge difference!". :-)
I really think she is like a delicate flower that just hasn't bloomed yet. I can see hints of potential and I can't wait to really get to know her once she feels more comfortable with us. But she is soooo quiet!! I told Erin that it would be easy to forget to pay attention to her. X never lets you forget he's around. If you're not playing with him, he'll come climb on you!
Today, AB starting moving around the room on her own. She still hasn't made her way to the potty on her own. (We've been taking her every few hours.) She can climb in and out of the wheel chair on her own. The beds are a little high for her to climb up on, but she gets down and crawls around on the floor. I think she needs to develop more tummy muscles, because she slouches in the chair a lot. Maybe we're just not giving her enough support. These will be questions for the physical therapists. The stiffness in her body is mostly in her hips. When I pick her up, she has a hard time sitting on my hip like I'm used to carrying a kid. Once, I gently forced her legs apart enough to do that and she giggled like riding that way was ticklish. (?) She can walk pretty decently when holding on. Even H can help her walk. I think she'd be fine with a walker around the house and a wheelchair for long outings. Here, we've mostly been carrying her. (More bonding that way.)
The pants that I brought her are too short. I didn't bring any winter shirts for her, so tomorrow our big excursion is to walk 15 min. down the street to Wal-mart and get her some clothes. She's probably happy that we haven't tried to change her clothes anyway. She has been very possessive of the necklace we sent her in her care package. It has the characters for Mother on it. She had to take it off today to get her passport picture made, so she's not smiling in that picture. As soon as we picked her back up she wanted that necklace back on.
X is handling the new addition fairly well. I think they will have a love/hate relationship. When we first met her, he came over and was rubbing her hand while she cried. It was sooooooo sweet!!! Then he went and got his favorite toy (the truck) and brought it to her. He wants to show her everything and do things for her. Sometimes he volunteers to share with her, and other times he hates being told that something is hers and not his. He stays in her business a lot. It's not easy to distract him, because there is a limit to how many cool toys we brought with us. I told the other moms that the hardest part about this trip is entertaining this age group in hotel rooms for 3 weeks!! (One of the other couples is adopting 2 under the age of 2!! More power to 'em!) I've got 2 inflatable pirate swords that I'm holding in reserve for our next stop. We may end up being there for 11 days!! The guide generally has something for us to do for about 2 hours a day. The rest of the time, we're pretty much hanging out in the hotel room. Overall that's o.k., because it gives us plenty of time to play together and observe what the new kids are like.
November 29, 2012
Well, we are making slow but steady progress. :-) AB likes us and is playing all the time. She is full of laughter and smiles. She still isn't talking to us much. She did say a few words to me yesterday when we were playing. She talks to X some, but not a lot. Today they were hiding in the closet playing "Wo men bu zai" i.e. "We're not here!" This, if you didn't know, is the funniest game ever invented! What you do, is hide in the closet and yell, "We're not here!" then Mom says, "You're not there?" and you say, "yep." Then Mom gets sad and you pop out and yell "AHHHHH!" and then laugh until you almost cry and start over. Today when they were in the closet AB was the one saying "We're not here!" So that's definitely progress. (Talking to us through the door.) She does touch me gently to get my attention, and wants to show me things. She wants me to praise her for working her puzzle, etc. She will point to her nose if she wants a tissue, etc. She still makes no indication that she needs to go to the bathroom. Yesterday she was coloring and then got kinda quiet and stopped coloring. I asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom and got no response. But I took her in there anyway and she really really really needed to go! Her stomach must've been killing her, yet she didn't say anything. sigh.
Nevertheless, she loves playing with us, and is doing well at other things. She enjoyed shopping at Wal-mart yesterday. We bought her some new pants and shirts. She picked out a pair of pink jeans. I also picked up a couple pair of cheap knit pants that have stars on them. She sort of sneered at them, but didn't do anything else. She may never wear them, but they're there in case of emergency. :-) When we got back to the hotel, we put on her new clothes. You could tell she was very happy about them. Of course, then it was time for supper and we ended up ordering her some noodles with meat sauce. She also ate fries and ketchup again. But the clothes survived o.k.
On the Wal-mart trip we also went to Pizza Hut. She pointed to the "New Orleans Style Wings" in the menu, so we ordered 4 pieces. She cleaned those bones off! H said they were too spicy for her, so I didn't try them. That's all kinda funny since the lady at the orphanage was sure to write down and also tell us that AB doesn't like spicy food. LOL!
Also at Wal-mart we were looking for straws. They both are beginners at regular cup drinking. We went down the children's cup row and she pointed to a pink Minnie Mouse cup. She was tickled to death to have that thing. Of course, that set X to wanting one too. We reminded him that his (Foster) Dad had bought him one. He is so proud of that, he couldn't say anymore about it. We looked for some other toy to occupy them in the hotel room and came up with a small set of foam blocks. We explained that they were for everyone. They've both enjoyed them, and it's been nice to have something to distract them from the other 'cool' toys.
Today we went by the place where AB was found. The area is under construction, so it looks different from what it was 3 years ago. From there we went on to the orphanage where she has lived the last three years. We learned a lot there. It is true that she was in a special program with "Half the Sky" Foundation. They have basically one floor of one building. Other buildings there have offices or school rooms or therapy rooms. The kids were all outside dancing to music when we arrived. X wanted to be held, and did NOT want me to dance along with the kids. AB woke up from a brief nap right as we arrived, so at first she didn't react much. We (the guide and I) explained to her that we were going there to deliver some gifts for her friends and to show them her new family. We went up and met her 'house mom' whom she called "Mama". They were happy to see each other. The house Mom fussed a little because we didn't have AB dressed like an Eskimo. Yeah, only one thin shirt, one thin sweater (with hood), and a thick coat (also with hood) because it's nearly 50 degrees outside!!!!!! Ahhh those cultural differences. :-D We saw her bed and left our gifts. The house Mom handed out snack box-sized milk boxes to all the kids. :-) Then we went down and saw her therapy room. They had a computer in there with several videos of AB. The director loaded them up on our thumb drive, but we haven't seen them all yet. They showed us an apparatus that helps her stand up. They told us she used that for 20 minutes each day. It may well be that this apparatus and some time with a walker are the extent of the "therapy" she's been getting. There were bars down the hallway for her to use to walk, so maybe some of that was going on too. The therapy lady was crying when she saw AB. But I'm not so sure the feeling was mutual. She was talking about AB, and AB just started crying. The guide said that the therapy lady said that AB can be a bit naughty (more on that in a minute). The good news is, AB reached for me and wanted me to take her away from the therapy lady. :-D (PROGRESS!!) I whispered in her ear (in Chinese) "You are our daughter now. You're going with us. We love you." She calmed down some, and calmed down completely when she saw the videos of herself being played.
About the "naughty" comment...... It seems to be a standard thing to say to parents. I think it's like you shouldn't brag on your kid, so you tell people he's a bit naughty. A few people have said this about O when he wasn't doing anything! Maybe it's a way of saying you like the kid, but you don't want to give them a big head??! It's always said under friendly circumstances as far as I've witnessed.
From the therapy room we went on to the school room. All of her friends were there. We asked the teachers what she's been learning. It seems that she's doing pre-school level work - i.e. coloring, arts and crafts, etc. I asked if she was learning to write at all, and they said 'very little'. In China, kids don't start school 'till age 7. AB was in a class with all the other handicapped kids, most of whom were mentally handicapped. I'm thinking no one in this classroom was being pushed to excel very much. But it was clear that the teachers were all very loving and patient. One of the teachers opened up a huge box of individually wrapped cakes and basically dumped them in our bag. She made sure all the kids had one and then I had to take one too. :-) Our guide asked her, "Where's Dad?" and she pointed at Erin. Then she asked, "Where's Mom?" and she pointed at me. :-D (PROGRESS!!)
We took lots of pictures. Then it was time to go.
As far as adjusting goes, I think she likes us and likes having a family. She just has to come to things in her own time. I don't think it will be long before she is talking to us. She is definitely listening and taking everything in. Just now I let her have a bottle of lotion. She put some on and then told X that it was for his hands and she gave him some and showed him how to rub it in. I don't think he liked the smell of it very much. LOL.
I wouldn't expect either one of them to come running up to you and give you a big hug when they first meet you!! ;-) X is still very shy with strangers! I'm kinda happy with that, since some adopted kids will go to or with anyone - including strangers at Wal-mart. The other day he wouldn't wash his hands in the bathroom at Pizza Hut 'till the other lady in there left.
This afternoon we walked through the park to McDonald's. The new kids mostly ate french fries and didn't touch their burgers. Maybe that's just too much white bread? On the way back we bought $25 dollars worth of plastic toys for $7. X got a new truck and AB got a ribbon on a stick (a la rhythmic gymnastics). We had to set her up on Erin's shoulders so she had enough height to use it.
When we got back, we went outside and blew bubbles. They both had fun at that until they both spilled bubble juice on themselves. sigh.
The big kids are doing fine. They're all coping with the boredom in their own way. - Mostly watching t.v. or playing video games. O has taken a bath everyday (so you KNOW he's bored!) H is frustrated that she can't get wifi here, so she can't surf the 'net on her Kindle like she could at the last hotel. They all take turns playing with the new kids. AB and AS are playing and laughing now and X is playing with his new truck, old truck and blocks.
Tomorrow we fly to Guangzhou to start the process for U.S. visas. We're hoping we can apply for their Singapore visas online and save staying in the hotel there over next weekend. I'm really tired of hotel rooms, and we have at least one more week to go. grrrrr. Still have the pirate swords in reserve, so it hasn't gotten too bad yet......
6 December 2012
On the Good news side:
1. When the kids get the right amount of sleep life is more pleasant all the way around.
2. They have been getting good sleep lately. :-)
3. X is figuring out that we mean it when we say something and his battles are getting shorter already.
4. The U.S. visa process went smoothly, and they have until May 30th to enter the U.S. They will become U.S. citizens automatically at the border.
5. We got them both in the bathtub!!! Woo-Hoo! I put AB in, and though she didn't really understand it (she kept holding her hands up for me to dry off!), she didn't cry or complain (or laugh, which is sometimes a complaint). So I suggested we let X see what was going on. He smiled, and when I suggested he could join her, he started peeling off clothes. We gave them a couple of our 'bowling pins' (aka empty water bottles) to play with. They had a great time. Afterwards, I had to keep herding AB out of there by telling her she could have another bath on Saturday. :-) They both REALLY needed baths. They smell so good now!! (There was a free bottle of Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo in the hotel. Yes, they do a LOT of business with adoptive families in this hotel.) We didn't know this, but many kids with CP have night sweats. We haven't noticed her being sweaty in her sleep or waking up sweaty, but sometimes during the day she just breaks out in a serious drencher. Once she was sitting on the bed looking at books and boom! she needed a towel. So, maybe I didn't realize how bad her hair needed to be washed. I appreciate it now.
On the Not as good news side:
1. We couldn't get the Singapore visas online, so we're stuck here until Tuesday. :-( I tried really hard not to be depressed about that. I mean, after all, I'm in a 5 star (for China) hotel...... [That we're paying for!] There are worse places to be stuck! The problem online was that the service was only available for citizens or permanent residents. Ah well. We had to wait for the U.S. Consulate to return the kids' passports and today we took the passports down to the Singapore Consulate to start that process. It takes 3 business days and they're not open on Saturday. grrrr. We had been pretty hacked off with AWAA for not getting our U.S. visa appointment on Monday (like the other AWAA family here) so that we could've been done on Friday. BUT then we found out that Tuesday was the earliest we could do it because our new kids are both over the age of 2. (t.b. test on Saturday, had to wait 'till Monday for the results and then the report to reach the consulate on Tuesday) So no reason to be angry with AWAA.
2. My cold/sore throat is back. Ugh. I think it's partly the temperature change (they had a cold front come through here) and partly that there's so much cigarette smoke and smog that my system can't handle it.
In other news (neither good nor bad, just regular).....
Since our last update we've been to a local 'temple', which was more of a Family's 'home place' where they meet up on big holidays to worship their ancestors. It's actually more like a spread out museum. Even the little kids enjoyed looking at the paintings and sculptures. AB picked out a $2 necklace that she instantly wanted to wear (had to take off the mother/daughter one I'd sent her - o.k. my feelings were a little hurt that it could be replaced so easily!).
We went to a bigger store and I bought a pretty tea set and some traditional looking Chinese clothes for the new kids.
Monday morning and Tuesday morning we had to go for U.S. visa things. Monday we went to recheck their t.b. tests, which were fine. Mostly we sat on the private bus and waited for the other AWAA family to be done with their visa appointment. :-( Tuesday was the day we applied for visas. That went smoothly. Our guide picked up the passports for us from the Consulate on Wednesday, which meant we had a free day. We ended up sleeping late, eating breakfast late, eating lunch late, and skipping supper for the most part.
Today we got to the Singapore Consulate when they opened. We had to take a taxi, because after the U.S. visas were complete we no longer have a guide and driver. I'm still a little irked by that, but Erin says, 'Well, if they'd charged me for it and we didn't end up using it, I'd be more angry'. I guess. But it felt a little like, "Well, this is when you're supposed to be done, so good luck! Hope that Singapore thing works out for you!" It's not like we chose to stay here for vacation or something. :-P Anyway, we had no trouble with the Singapore Consulate. Erin will go back on Monday afternoon to pick up the passports, then we are free to go!! Woo-hoo!
We do have adjoining rooms here. The big kids are in the other room, and the little kids are in with us. The beds are considered "full-sized" but are really glorified twin beds. AS and O struggle to fit on one. We have a King-sized bed. AB is sleeping on a chair (it's better than you think - I'll have to send a picture), and X is in a pack n' play provided by the hotel. I wasn't sure he'd go for that, but O (bless him!) jumped in it and pretended to sleep and so X decided it was the 'cool' bed. Hurray!
There are some shops and restaurants in the hotel. There's a 7-11 next door, so that's handy. There's a barren mall across the street - but it has a Subway (restaurant).
The hotel has a spa with a hot tub, steam room, and sauna in each of the dressing rooms. I've been down there hoping the steam will do something for my sinuses. :-)
Today we went down the street to a big park. (Again, 'park' here isn't the same as in the U.S.) There was a big lake where you could rent paddle boats, places where senior citizens were doing concerts, playing badminton, hackeysack, or doing tai chi or a fan dance. We saw one group playing badminton in a tai chi style. It was the most graceful badminton I've ever seen. Another guy in that group was playing lying down, or one arm under his leg. Some were playing with two racquets. We stopped and blew bubbles for a while. We bought some China flags and one of those battery-operated fishing games for kids. (Not a good purchase. It's cheap and too difficult for the little ones to do.) We went on around and fed the fish. There were so many Koi in there that some of the fish ended up out of the water during the feeding frenzy. So many fish were swimming up to get the food, that the ones on top had to flop around on top of the pile to get back in the water! Crazy. The weather was perfect today - about 69 degrees. This was our first day in Guangzhou without both cold and rain.
We've been inventing ways to entertain ourselves. We have some water bottles for 'bowling', we used X's ball to have a family free-throw contest. Each person had to be one body length back from the trashcan. I won. :-D Today, I used the hotel room sewing kit to teach the big kids how to sew on a button. There were enough needles and buttons for everyone to sew one. The only channels on the t.v. that any of us will watch are the National Geographic Channel and Discovery. So even I am getting a little tired of The Dog Whisperer. Luckily I downloaded some good ABC apps for the ipad. The little kids like that. The big kids try to keep their games charged or talk Erin into getting off the laptop so they can play online. The only time I've been on the laptop this trip I've spent doing these updates. (Currently the boys and AB are all downstairs at the playground.)
I've been taking one kid each day out to do something to kill a little time. H and I went shopping at the hotel next door. They have a couple of little trinket shops. AS and I went for McFlurries. O also wanted to shop. I'm planning to take AB for a manicure tomorrow since we never found fingernail polish to do at home. I don't know if she will like the attention from a stranger, or be too shy to go through with it. I'm not sure what X and I will do.
Tomorrow night we are signed up for a River Cruise. I don't know and don't care where it goes. There's a buffet dinner involved. It will get us out of this room for several hours. Hooray!
We may yet get adventurous enough to try taking the whole family on the subway to the zoo or some other tourist spot. But it is intimidating when we don't know the area, can't read the signs much, and have a wheelchair with no wheelchair access. Also, to take the whole family by taxi would require 2 taxis. Not ruling it out, but we'll see....
December 11, 2012 (by Erin)
Today's update will have a slightly different style than previous ones. Sheri's updates are like American meals--when you're done, you push back from the table, move slowly, and take some time to digest everything you've overconsumed. My updates are more like French nouvelle cuisine--you say to yourself, "What is this? And why did he.....?" as you spread out your hands in helpless confusion, wondering how the chef could have spend so much time to deliver so little substance. Bon appetit, y'all.
We will fly out of China for Singapore today, arriving in Singapore in the early evening. The most uncertain step in our trip logistics, for me, was whether the new kids' Singapore visas would be processed on time. The American consulate has a pretty well-greased process for working with adoptees returning to the States, but you can't even make an appointment at the Singapore consulate. Just show up. Since the "adopt and go to Singapore" route isn't well-travelled, we were concerned that there might be some hold-ups we didn't know about, or some required paperwork we didn't have. But we showed up at the consulate with all the paperwork we own, and the visas came out exactly three business days later, as advertised, and so we're clear to fly back to Singapore.
We had been hoping to get out and do some things in Guangzhou over the weekend. (The "three business days" in the last sentence were Thurs/Fri/Mon, alas.) However, over the last few days Sheri has been developing a bad head cold or something, and so she has stayed in bed not moving or eating much. So we didn't do as much as we had planned, and your last update is coming from me. This is not a great tourist city anyway, but there were a couple of minor things we could have seen. Everyone is more than ready to get back to home base again, although making the flight with 5 kids, 1.25 functional adults, and approximately 43 tons of luggage will be more challenging than I had hoped. But it will all work out, if perhaps a bit slower than normal. I feel much better about flying Singapore Air than the regional carriers we've used in-country here, so that's something.
More details after we get back, and your regular historian gets back on the job.
December 12, 2012
I'm doing well enough to sit and type during nap time. I was really really sick. ugh. My fever went as high as 102. Erin (BLESS HIM!!!) went and found a (Chinese) pharmacy and managed (with gestures and their broken English) to get antibiotics and decongestant. I'd been taking max dosage of Sudafed around the clock, but it wasn't putting a dent in it. I don't know how I made it through the trip, but it's been a miserable 4 days! Yesterday I ate a little bit on the plane and managed to drink an entire bottle of water. Today I've had some soup and drank a lot. I think I'm getting over the dehydration, but still need to eat more. (Everything tastes like cardboard when you can't taste it.) It is SOOOOOOO good to be home!!!!!!! :-D I was planning to go to the Dr. when we got home, but my fever is down to 99, so I think the antibiotics are slowly working.
X kept wanting me to play with him and I told him in Chinese that I wanted to play with him, but I was sick. He gave me the pity look. Awww.
They both were really good, and Erin did a great job taking care of all 5. He had to carry AB everywhere in the airport (of course our departure gate AND arrival gate were the last one down the hallway - sigh). The kids were happy with the video systems on the airplane. But I think they were both a little stressed about coming to Singapore. AB vomited right as the plane landed. I grabbed an airsickness bag, but the STUPID !@#$%(# thing was sealed at the top. If you're not actually in the situation where you NEED an airsickness bag, you might take the time to read the side where it says, "Tear across top to open". So there's the stupid Mom trying to open it thinking, "Some idiot has pranked this by glueing it shut!". She got her clothes, the seat, blanket, you name it. Poor kid. She was crying. I don't know if she was crying because she was physically uncomfortable, or ashamed, or afraid we'd fuss at her or what. We rode around China a lot with her in a van, and never saw that, so I don't know, but I think it might be stress induced at least a little. She didn't eat anything on the plane that she hadn't had before. Today we took them to the super store (groceries and clothes) and she almost did it again. She started crying and was covering her mouth. Erin pulled into a parking spot real fast and stopped and she was fine. She was o.k. coming home. But think about it, she had no idea where we were going or what was going to happen to her when we got there. I told her we were going to the store, but I think deep down she's still pretty anxious about being in a new place.
We bought them some more clothes and some Singapore appropriate shoes. AB is definitely your pink girl! X doesn't seem to prefer one color over another. He is AS's biggest fan. He wanted to get into the Lego's when we got here, and I pulled out a freebie Lego airplane that I'd gotten somehow. I asked AS to put it together for him. You'd think we'd given him solid gold. He was literally skipping across the den and giggling. He also liked seeing his picture on the wall.
AB recognized her bed from the photo we'd sent her. She really likes that. They both figured out how to ride this toy I'd bought. (You sit on it with your feet propped up and turn the handles slowly back and forth to make it go.) I think AB really enjoyed being able to move around so easily. X had a hard time sharing it, but that's a 3 y.o. for ya. AB also liked the decorations we'd put up, particularly the sign that H had made. It had rainbows and cats and other girly things on it. She is much more girly than H. She likes her 'bling'. We could only find a few acceptable wardrobe items that were not pink!
December 15, 2012
Well, to wrap up the blog.....
The new kids are continuing to figure out how life works around here. EVERY THING is NEW! Each object they find they have to show to everyone else. Look! A Wii remote!! If you push the buttons the lights come on!! Cool! Look! Post-it Notes! etc. etc. I'm sure that will wind down soon. We're enjoying having them and playing with them. AB is a whiz at jigsaw puzzles! X is going to fit right in with all the boy things around here. There are still plenty of things that need to get worked out, and doctor's visits that need to start next week, but I'm in no rush to start putting them through all of that. The Social Worker comes on Monday to do our first Post-Placement report. China requires reports at one month, 6 months, 3 years and 5 years. I don't blame them. They want to make sure the kids are doing well. The funny part to me is that because of the timing, the report will be done one week after we got home. Erin points out that we will have had X for a month by then and AB for 3 weeks. But I don't know how much adjusting they did in all of those hotel rooms!
The rest of us are thrilled to be back home. The antibiotics are continuing to work on my sinus infection and today I almost feel like a normal human being! :-D Erin has taken the two older boys to soccer. Later I plan to take the older ones to see The Hobbit and do a little Christmas shopping.
